Monday, December 29, 2014

Surrender

Sometimes, you have to wave the white flag: "You win! I give up!".  As you know, I tried to salvage the holiday season by pushing myself into the holiday spirit and gearing up for the holidays.  The day after my last post, I was hit by the proverbial train: I got the flu.  Fever of 103, couldn't keep anything down, coughing uncontrollably.  I had to cancel everything on my social/life calendar. Two doctor visits later, I thought I had it figured out (it took four days to break my fever).

Hooray! Here was Christmas, and I wasn't quarantined at my house!  But, wait my lungs feel like they are filling up with fluid, and I can't breathe.  ER on Christmas night, anyone? My mother took me.  Chest x-ray, and one nebulizer treatment later - congratulations! You also have pneumonia!

I had to be put on oxygen and antiobiotics.  Remy and I stayed at my parents house (they waited on me - hand and foot - very, very kind of them), as the oxygen tanks had to be delivered somewhere - and that's where I was! This morning (after three full days of oxygen tubes up my nose, pain killers - for the coughing, and to let me sleep), I went to my follow up visit with my doctor. "Your lungs sound much better than I expected they would!"  And more importantly, I feel so much better.  I packed up everything, and returned to my house midday.  It's hard not to go as fast as I want/do as much as I can (I just tried to shovel two feet of snow, while the temperature hovers in the single digits. WTF am I trying to do? Die?).

Therefore, this illness - these past months - have been a lesson in surrender.  I am not in control.  I can't stop disease or death.  I'm not bitter, I'm grateful - and will continue to move forward.  Bring on 2015, I'm excited for the potential and newness of it all!!

(With this post, let us return to our regularly scheduled postings of eats and activities.  Although, when I return to working out is TBD.  Right now, grocery shopping makes me tired.)

Much love to you, friends! xoxo

13 comments:

  1. Oh, geez! I'm so sorry! It sounds like everyone has been down and out. I had a hard time breathing/coughing/sleeping recently too, though I refused to see the doctor and now it makes me wonder if what I had was worse than I thought.
    So glad you are feeling better now. The holidays/days off are the worst time to be sick.

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    1. This definitely felt different, thus the doctor visits. I still don't have a voice, and look like a zombie. I say, you know yourself the best - if it's time to go, go!

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  2. How horrible! at least you have family nearby and health insurance. Mr. SV had a friend who got the H1N1 Flu last year and was hospitalized with that for a week. Phew! I am glad you are back. no need to surrender anything.

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    1. Oh, don't get me started on health insurance. I have a high deductible, so this will hurt. It might zap any summer abroad plans. :( I had the H3N2, but I can see how any flu would lead to hospitalization - it's easy to think we can do this on our own.

      I had to buy a new toilet today. The surrender continues.

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    2. woah! didnt know you had the H3N2! that is the new epidemic. I agree, the flu cannot be survived solo.

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  3. Omg that is so awful, I'm so sorry you were so sick! I've had walking pneumonia before and I know how exhausting it is. I can't even imagine what that experience must have been like for you, I'm so sorry. This has been a hard season for you but it seems like you have been coping with everything really well. I hope that your 2015 is full of health and happiness. You truly deserve it!

    Welcome back :) we've missed you!

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    1. I do wonder the difference - perhaps the need to be on oxygen? My mother had walking pneumonia, and has the same words - exhausting. I feel a bit defeated today, I'll be honest.

      I just keep saying: I need to make it to 2015...

      I will post about holiday gifts tomorrow!!

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  4. Oh gosh, Ingrid I am so sorry to hear about your trip to the ER! uuugh the body can have the worst timing sometimes. I'm glad you're doing better. Sending thoughts and prayers for a speedy recovery :)

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    1. Hi Caralyn! Our bodies definitely have a way of letting us know who is in charge. ;) Thank you!

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  5. I really hope you feel better soon!

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  6. I'm glad the universe got you and Remy some pampering time with your M&D, but stay healthy and happy throughout 2015 AT LEAST!! May it be a terrific year for you.

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    1. It really was the best thing staying with them - I was forced into relaxation! I should go back! Ha ha! I am going to agree with you, 2015 will be a great year!

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