Sometimes, you have to wave the white flag: "You win! I give up!". As you know, I tried to salvage the holiday season by pushing myself into the holiday spirit and gearing up for the holidays. The day after my last post, I was hit by the proverbial train: I got the flu. Fever of 103, couldn't keep anything down, coughing uncontrollably. I had to cancel everything on my social/life calendar. Two doctor visits later, I thought I had it figured out (it took four days to break my fever).
Hooray! Here was Christmas, and I wasn't quarantined at my house! But, wait my lungs feel like they are filling up with fluid, and I can't breathe. ER on Christmas night, anyone? My mother took me. Chest x-ray, and one nebulizer treatment later - congratulations! You also have pneumonia!
I had to be put on oxygen and antiobiotics. Remy and I stayed at my parents house (they waited on me - hand and foot - very, very kind of them), as the oxygen tanks had to be delivered somewhere - and that's where I was! This morning (after three full days of oxygen tubes up my nose, pain killers - for the coughing, and to let me sleep), I went to my follow up visit with my doctor. "Your lungs sound much better than I expected they would!" And more importantly, I feel so much better. I packed up everything, and returned to my house midday. It's hard not to go as fast as I want/do as much as I can (I just tried to shovel two feet of snow, while the temperature hovers in the single digits. WTF am I trying to do? Die?).
Therefore, this illness - these past months - have been a lesson in surrender. I am not in control. I can't stop disease or death. I'm not bitter, I'm grateful - and will continue to move forward. Bring on 2015, I'm excited for the potential and newness of it all!!
(With this post, let us return to our regularly scheduled postings of eats and activities. Although, when I return to working out is TBD. Right now, grocery shopping makes me tired.)
Much love to you, friends! xoxo