8 five day weeks, or 40 work days, stand between me and a new chapter.
Perhaps 40 work days doesn't seem like much, and it isn't - but on the other hand, it is.
The first seven years of my career will come to close, at the end of a school year that has been my toughest. Difficult in terms of administration and low morale in building, more so than anything else. I've questioned myself, my choices, my career. And now it's going to be over so soon, leaving me a bit reflective.
Then again, it can't be over soon enough. I'm a perfectionist who waits until everything is exactly as I think it "should be" before moving forward. So, I'm stalling on my workouts, because I don't like "when" I can go running or to the gym (i.e. in the afternoon). I'm ready for summer, and later work hours that I might workout at daybreak, as opposed to afterwards when I'm tired and overwhelmed. I don't want to wait 8 weeks to start, but I don't want to get up at 4:30am to make it happen. As you can see, we're back to where I started. Waiting till everything is "perfect" time-wise.
Thus, I've made a decision: over the next 40 work days, I will not force myself nor will I be bitter about "when" I can workout or the intensity. If all I can manage to do is walk two miles everyday or do 25 squats - so be it. No whining, no negative self talk - just doing what I can, when I can. It's only eight weeks, not the rest of my life, right?
Photos: 1. Yesterday, open space park 2. Intercoastal waterway, Topsail Island, NC in 2009. 3. Dumbarton Oaks, Georgetown D.C. in 2011 4. South Park Valley, CO balloon ride in 2010
Awesome mindset, Ingrid. Don't let little snags hold you back! I should do the same.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Maud! I'm glad I didn't sound too whiny, as I really tried to work through the problem while writing this post. :)
DeleteIt sounds like you really have your stuff together during a time of chaos! It takes a lot of clarity to be able to be so self aware and reflective and to come to a pretty enlightened outlook when times are tough. It is incredibly inspiring. I know you'll get through the next eight weeks and hopefully the next chapter will be more peaceful for you.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Sarah! It's all about trying to be realistic and present, which sometimes I struggle to do. I appreciate your support so much! :)
DeleteSo today was your first day back at work after vacation, right? Whatever gets you through...Or else, cant you hire one of those 'substitute teachers'?
ReplyDeleteIt was, and I survived - more or less due to interesting content and my one-liners keeping their attention.
DeleteSubs don't accept requests in May most of the time, just because the kiddos are climbing the walls. Not to mention, writing sub plans is obnoxious. I'm fully committed to seeing them succeed - so I'll be there, just wish I could fast forward everything! :)
Sometimes all you can do is do what you can. In other words, I think you have a good attitude. Congratulations on being on the cusp of a new chapter.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Rachel! I'm so ready for a change!
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